Should I choose an open or closed adoption?

This is a great question! It shows that you have moved from wondering whether or not you could consider adoption and are actually looking at the option closely now.  The best way to answer this question is to closely examine what open and closed adoption involves. 

• In an open adoption, information about the adoptive parents and the birth parents are shared with each other, and the adopted child has the opportunity to develop a relationship with the birth parents. The birth parents have the ability to choose the level of contact they wish to have with the child. Pictures and letters can be exchanged, and visits between the adoptive parents and the birth parents can occur.
• In a closed adoption, the adoptive family is chosen by the adoption agency or attorney. The birth family and the adoptive family do not share any information about themselves and do not communicate with each other, either before or after the placement of the child. 
• Half-way between these two options is a semi-open adoption. Direct communication after the adoption is limited in whatever way is agreed upon by the birth parents and adoptive parents. Identifying information, such as last names, addresses, and telephone numbers are not exchanged, while the sharing of photographs or other information for an agreed frequency and duration of time is common. The birth parents are still able to review written records regarding potential adoptive parents and select the ones they feel are best. All communication, however, takes place through a third party, which is usually an adoption agency, an adoption attorney, or a designated middle-man.

 

To sum up, open adoption allows you to remain involved in your child's life. Closed adoption allows for a complete break between you and your child. Semi-open adoption usually allows for you to follow your child's growth without him or her knowing you are there. Maybe you are already able to rule one of these options in or out.

 

Next, think about the things that are going to be important to you. Think about the answers to these questions:

• Do you want to choose the family for your child and be able to pick the type of home he or she will go to? Or is it okay if someone else does that for you?
• Do you want to see your child after you place him or her for adoption? Are pictures good enough, or would you like to see him or her in person?
• Do you want to have a relationship with your child? Or do you feel it would be better to have a clean break?
• Do you want the adoption records sealed so that your child will not be able to find you at a later date? Or would you rather have them open?

 

Once you have an idea of the things that are important for you in this process, call a legitimate adoption agency and let them know the answers to the above questions. They will be able to determine - based on your state's laws - which option suits your situation the best. You will not need to commit to placing your child for adoption at this time. Simply ask for some information to be sent to you regarding the agency's process for placing a child for adoption, and as always, if you would like more information or need help finding an adoption agency, contact us for further assistance.