Your Beliefs

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Made by Serif

I think that it is good to be a strong woman - even if that means there is a possibility of being a single parent. After all, in our day and age a lot of credit is given to women who overcome difficulties and make it on their own while raising a child. I feel a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and even some excitement when I think about parenting. There is no greater job - and none more wonderful - than bringing up a child. I think that everything happens for a reason, and that if this pregnancy wasn't meant to be, it would not have happened. I know that I cannot have an abortion, and I cannot give my child up for adoption. I think parenting is a good choice for me.

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I feel that it is morally wrong to bring a child into this world when I don't have the resources/stability to take care of it. I believe that in order to bring a child into the world the situation should be nothing less than perfect. I feel that it is wrong to be a single parent. I think it's important for every pregnancy to be planned and that no child should be unwanted. I believe that since I do not want the baby now, I never will. I think parenting is a bad choice for me.

I think that this is my body and therefore my choice. I am more important than the fetus I'm carrying, and I believe that the fetus is not really a person until a later time. I sometimes think of the fetus as an invader. I believe that motherhood is not anything I would be good at. My life up until now has been school and/or work, and I think my life is incompatible with being a mother. I don't feel I could parent my child or give it up for adoption. I think abortion is a good choice for me.

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I believe that abortion is murder and that having one would be taking a human life. I think that the fetus became a person at conception. I have already bonded with thoughts of my child, and sometimes I call it “my baby.” I have been religiously or morally opposed to abortion, and I have thought that abortion is a sin. I have felt that although abortion might be good for other women, I could not go through with one myself. I think abortion is a bad choice for me.

I think that adoption is a selfless act, and that it would be giving someone the blessing of having a child when they might not be able to have children of their own. I don't feel it's right to raise a child if I don't have stability in my life, but I know that I cannot raise this child and that I cannot have an abortion. I like the security that adoption offers, knowing that I'll be able to select the perfect family to raise my child. I think adoption is a good choice for me.

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There's no way that I could carry a baby for nine months and then just give it away - I would feel guilty. Children who are adopted always wonder why their parents didn’t want them, and I couldn’t do that to my child. I think that it is too much work to give a baby up for adoption. The paperwork and decisions involved seem overwhelming. I wouldn't want anyone else raising my child because I feel that it's a job that only I could do. You can’t trust that they will be good parents. I think adoption is a bad choice for me.

Your morals, values, and beliefs shape you. They are a part of who you were and who you are now. It is important to be clear about what you feel is right and wrong, good and bad. If you do something that you truly feel is wrong, you are probably going to run into a difficult time later on. Sometimes we let other people dictate our values. If someone is pressuring you to do something with this pregnancy, it is important to separate that person's values from your own. You need the space to make up your own mind. You are the one that needs to live with this choice. Feelings of fear and shame often pop up when we deal with values. If you do something when you’re afraid others think it is wrong, it can make you feel like you are a bad person. You're not a bad person. You have the freedom to make up your own mind. Don't let anyone do it for you.

In this section we will cover a few of the beliefs and attitudes about the different options available to you. Read the following paragraphs, and then think about which paragraph from each section best reflects your own point of view throughout your lifetime. Try to set your concerns aside for right now. Remember that all of these options are available to you right now whether you feel they are or not. Then answer the questions that follow.

Your Beliefs

If you have ever been pregnant before, your past experiences will affect your beliefs about parenting, abortion, and adoption. Each pregnancy and outcome is unique, but remembering your past will help you to understand fears that you may have based on a previous experience and help you decide if these fears are a reality or merely perceived based on what you have gone through in the past. Think about the following questions, and answer any or all of them in the box below each paragraph.

Now it's time to turn the focus slightly to discuss the concerns and fears, the positives and negatives, and the hopes and desires that you have regarding this pregnancy. Fill in the following pro and con list.

By now, you probably have a pretty good idea of the choice that will be best for you, but it’s also likely that you’re still afraid of that option. Doing something that is unknown and/or difficult can be VERY scary, but one of the best ways to get rid of that fear is to think through your concerns and fears. We’ll do that next.

Would you like personalized advice based on your answers? If so, please fill out this page in its entirety if possible. It's important that we have as much information as possible about your situation so that we can be of help to you. Thank you!

Parenting is a good choice for me.

Parenting is a bad choice for me.

Abortion is a good choice for me.

Abortion is a bad choice for me.

Adoption is a good choice for me.

Adoption is a bad choice for me.

Is there anything else you would like to note after reading through these statements? Which did you find

reflected your core beliefs and values the best?

What happened in your previous pregnancy? Was the pregnancy difficult or easy? How does your previous pregnancy relate to this pregnancy? Did you feel pressured to make a certain decision then? Do you feel the same pressure now?

Did you have an abortion with any of your previous pregnancies? Was it difficult emotionally? Was it difficult physically? Did you feel as if you could have another abortion before you found out about this pregnancy?

Did you place a child for adoption? Was it difficult emotionally? Did you have any emotional difficulties after the adoption?

How do you feel about children? Do you feel they are a lot of work or that parenting is pretty easy? Are you afraid that mothering won't come easy to you?

What are some important qualities that a good mother has? Do you have these qualities? What are some important qualities that a good father has? Does the father of this baby have these qualities?

What are your future education and/or career plans? How would parenting affect these plans? Can you continue to reach these goals if you decide to parent?

What would the ideal home for a child look like? What do you want to provide for your child, and are you able to provide this now? What would it take to make this ideal home possible?

What are your thoughts about receiving help from state programs and charitable organizations? Would you consider seeking out WIC, Medicaid, food stamps, welfare, second-hand stores and yard sales, food banks, local churches, and/or pregnancy centers?

How do you think a child will affect your ability to date and/or marry? Do you believe men will act differently towards you if they know you have a child? Is this important for you on a scale of 0 to 10 (10 being very important)?

What material items are needed to have a baby? Can you afford these things? How can you get these things? Would you utilize pregnancy centers, baby showers, hand-me-downs, and cost-cutting techniques such as breast feeding, cloth diapers, and making your own baby food?

How do you feel about daycare for your child? What is your preference: A daycare center, a family or friend watching your child, or being a stay-at-home mom? Which is most easily available for you?

How important is a father to a child? Why? Would the father of this baby be an important role model for him or her?

What is the current relationship between you and the man who fathered this pregnancy? Does he want to be a father? Do you think he will help you raise this child? Do you trust him to take care of this child (does he use drugs, drink heavily, or become violent)?

Do you see yourself and this child involved with him in the future? Is marrying him a possibility? If he is not going to be a part of your child's life, what might you tell your child about his or her father if you decide to have this baby?

What are your basic spiritual or religious beliefs? What role do these spiritual/religious beliefs have in this situation?

What does your faith or religion teach about adoption?

What does your faith or religion teach about abortion?

What does your faith or religion teach about pregnancy and parenting?

What does your conscience say about abortion? Parenting? Adoption? In other words, what is your gut feeling about each option?

What are your beliefs about the state of your developing fetus? Is it a person yet? When does it become a person? Does it have a soul?

When you pray or meditate about this, what option are you feeling led to? What option are you feeling led away from?

Parenting Pros

Parenting Cons

Abortion Pros

Abortion Cons

Adoption Pros

Adoption Cons

After answering all these questions, which option now feels like it might be the best?

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Your Concerns...

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Your Concerns...